Blue on Blue

My idea to journal EVERY day was a bit overly optimistic…I guess!

Thursday January 8th I woke up in the dumps.  Has that ever happened to you?  You wake up and even though your life is good, you feel moody?  It happened to me on Thursday! What is interesting to me about this random feeling of terribleness is, my fiance, knowing I was feeling moody and wanting me to feel better, bought me my yearly horoscope planner from www.astrotwins.com about 11am on Thursday.  As crazy as this sounds it said that based on my horoscope and where planets were aligned, I may be moody and having some stuff come up around January 10th!!  Wow!!   How eerily accurate are the Astro Twins!!
blue duck
So, what was I to do feeling moody and blue?  I can actually say that today, January 14th, almost a full week later, I am still feeling slightly moody.  After realizing that I am in the swamp I decided I needed to implement my personal pleasure diet.  If you have read earlier blogs then you know what I am talking about.  For those that have not, let me explain.  A personal pleasure diet consists of doing things that you know will bring you pleasure daily.  It is a good idea if you determine what these things are BEFORE you get into a situation where you are feeling swampy.  My favorite five pleasurable experiences are 1) a tea ritual 2) meditation 3) exercise 4) movement with music 5) connection with a friend.  I also believe that orgasm, which releases oxytocin into your blood stream, is a great way to bring pleasure into a day.

After returning from my trip I jumped right into holiday season.  My daily pleasure diet went out the window.  By the first week of January here I am crashing all over this blog!!  I have spent every day this last week eating chocolate, exercising, having sex, working a process I learned at the School of Womanly arts called “spring cleaning”.  This all happened of course between crying, appointments, parenting, and checking anxiety driven e-mails from my sons father!  Who, in this modern world, has time to feel crappy?  Our society is not set up for having down days or moody feelings, at least my world is not set up for this!

I am gratefully beginning to feel slightly better.  I have decided to give myself full permission to just be icky.  I go to the gym without doing my hair.  I don’t answer my phone unless I really want to talk to the person calling.  I am not shaming myself for eating sugar.  I am giving myself all of the comfort I would to a sick friend.  I have been counting all of my blessings daily, no matter how small. I am being a friend to me.  This is a new way for me to do blue.  It doesn’t make the moody go away but I do have moments of smiling and, I can feel the fog lifting after only a week!

Are you having a blue January?  What are you doing to help love yourself through it?

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