What is it and why do we do it, AGAIN??
I am getting married, again! This will be my second try at it.
I understand why I got married the first time. I was born into a family of middle working class breeders. Both of my parents are one of 10 children. No female children on my father’s side. On my mother’s side there was college money for the boys and the girls were expected to get married and move out. This culture and attitude was passed down to me. I was married with 2 babies by 20.
As a young person I felt I picked the ideal man to partner and mate with. He was the youngest in a family of 4, his parents were still married, and his family was slightly higher than mine socio-economically. He was a hard worker, who became a fireman and construction worker. He worked all of the time to bring home money so that we could buy homes, plan retirement at 50 and take care of our children. I fell apart by 30. I had had no chance to grow up and learn who Cindy was. I was my husband’s wife. By 28 I was full of rebellion and resentment within my marriage. Ultimately we divorced and he married our neighbor.
Since that time, I have been a single. Don’t get me wrong. I dated, a lot! I had a lot of fun and I even had several relationships that lasted 2 to 3 years. Even though I was a single, I was seldom alone. I was blessed to have 5 of the best girlfriends a woman could ask for!! These women as well as several other friends and family were my constant companions and helped me during stressful times and were with me to celebrate accomplishments and joys. I have truly enjoyed being a single. I learned a lot about who I am. During my single years I met and fell in love with Cindy Anne.
I would say, even if that is where the story ended, it would be a wonderful ending. However, the story goes on. In 2012, through a series of cosmic events, I entered into one of the most epic love stories of all time. And, this is how I ended up where I am today, engaged asking myself and you, why would a person get married again?
The working class side of me says, it’s like a job, if you find the perfect one you should commit and stay until your retire, or in this situation, expire. The romantic girl in me says, I love this man more than I have ever loved anybody. Our sex is great, we share so much in common, we have businesses together, we were meant to be together and all the happy crappy, squishy pink thoughts a girl in love has!
Yet, even with all those thoughts, as a grown, independent woman, why oh why would I get married AGAIN? I have no doubt, married or not, that I will wake up every morning with this man by my side. He is my best friend, the best lover, my confidant, the most amazing father, an entrepreneur, an adventure seeker, he loves travel, he is good looking, and he brings my tea to me every morning. He is truly my ideal mate. But, it that a reason to get married again?
Some people would say that all of the reasons I have stated are enough reason to get married again. I am an extremely practical person however and I do not see all of those things as reason enough to be married. No, I shall get married because if something happens to the other person, I want a legal partnership to ensure that we can advocate and protect one another legally. I want to be the one who is called first, I want to be, or have him be, the legal next of kin. I am getting married so that we have the legal rights and responsibilities of a romantic love partnership…..and of course, so we can through one hell of a party!