Two years ago I started a journey of release. I was prepared to let go of all that no longer served me in hopes of making room for a greater life. It has literally taken all this time, 2 full years, to become free of my past so that I could enjoy my present and have the life I desire.
I feel as though I have been in an Earthling graduate course for the last 2 years. It has been one lesson after another. There were days when I didn’t think I would be able to make it because the emotional pain was so great. I have experienced some of the darkest nights my soul has ever experienced during this time of growth and release….and, I asked for it all. I actually called it to me so that I could be the woman I came to this planet to be.
I cannot guarantee that if I knew what was coming when I asked to release my past, that I would have said I was ready and willing. I guess that’s the good thing about NOT knowing the future. I started my journey full of hope, believing that by opening to the notion of releasing it all I would automatically have joy and success. HA!!
By being willing to release all that no longer served me I opened myself up to lessons I had no idea I needed to learn. The very things I complained the most about where the lessons that have been the hardest to learn.
I wrongly believed that release would be a passive experience, like the warm water in the bath, my past mistaken beliefs and desires would all disappear once I decided to open the drain. It turns out that is not how my release worked.
My release turned out to be more like a field of dandelions that needed to be eradicated!
First, I pulled the tops because if you don’t see the yellow flower they aren’t there, right? NO! not true at all. However, plucking the tops off turned out to be a good first step. Once the flowers are off the plant they cannot turn to seed and grow more dandelions! I applauded myself for getting started
The second step was to pull all of the little green plants up. This was hard and time consuming, but I was ready and willing to release and rid myself of all that no longer served me, so I persevered with help from friends and professionals. I pulled and pulled and pulled. When I was finished I looked at the field, patted myself on the back and said, “What a great job you have done ridding yourself of the past”. In my naivete and arrogance I rested and claimed success for all of my hard work.
But, pulling up dandelions does not eradicate a dandelion! My ego wanted me to believe I was finished, that I had done the work. False pride, fake happiness, and my ever present know it all attitude needed one more lesson and a little more time.
I woke up one day and every spot that I had not done the very hard work of pulling up the roots of all those weeds, there was a dandelion! There they were again, in full bloom, taunting me, reminding me that I had not done the hard work of digging deep and taking out the very root that created the plant that was no longer serving me.
The job of planting a field full of plants I desire had to start by removing the roots of the plants that no longer serve me, and in some cases lovingly accepting a few dandelions in my field.
It turns out that dandelions have tasty leaves and their roots have many healing properties. I am also told that if you put a dandelion under your chin and your chin reflects the yellow, it means you love butter.
In the two years I have been gone from my blog I have learned many lessons. I am looking forward to sharing many of my lessons with you in the future. For now I am going to go make myself a cup of dandelion tea, reflect on my past, enjoy the moment, and create my future.